“A civilian husband gives gifts, but draws them up for himself”

I have a civilian husband. We are in a relationship of 5 years, a child is growing. We live a guest marriage. Before the decree, I completely provided myself, now I am dependent on my partner. I can’t say that he pamper me, but gives me a living.

Last year, on his own initiative, I decided to improve my housing conditions, but I issued an apartment for myself, this year I bought a car according to the same scheme. The situation is extremely unpleasant for me, he constantly tells me for these purchases that he spent a lot of money on us. I can’t and do not want to use other people’s property. Moreover, he said that he did not want me to enrich at his expense. We cannot agree peacefully.

I believe that he bought it not for us. Really in five years of relations I have not earned a full -fledged gift? I think, either do not give at all, or draw up for those whom you give. I was wrong?

Good afternoon, Marina. In the letter you do not describe your feelings, but I see a grudge here, as if you are not appreciated. As if it are important to learn, be useful and work out such a gift.

While you see this situation as the children’s experience tells you. With children’s insults you need to work. And already at the level of an adult to establish clear rules within himself. For example: “He must give and https://themainstreetdentist.com/velichestvennaia-internatsionalistskie-perevozki-gruzov/ arrange for me, and if this does not happen, then I calmly collect things and leave for the house that I think for my own and for which I will not need to listen to the claims”. Dot.

If you consider the situation differently, then perhaps he did not see gratitude on your part in his language. Perhaps he made a lot of effort to provide you. But, for its traumatic reasons, security and distrust of the world, he designed for himself, checking you for strength and love. And, most likely, he himself feels guilty and discomfort, does not admit this, but anger takes on you.

I would recommend that you clearly say this situation. You will voice what is important to you, and he is his position. And then you can decide on tactics.

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