A friend does not answer my messages, removed me from the frands. Talked for more than a year, trusted each other. I have so few friends, and I lost a loved one – and I don’t even know why.

Yes, the loss of a loved one is always a very difficult event for the psyche. Especially when in communication our thoughts, feelings, values are affected – a very personal dimension. It is important for everyone to be heard by another. I think the loss helped you find this value – the value of close and trusting relations.

I would like to focus on several moments.

Firstly, if you do not have the opportunity to clarify the cause of the gap, you will have to do a rather complex mental work, which is sometimes called the work of grief.

If in a nutshell, its meaning is to create an idea of him and about this stage of life in place of your life and thereby complete the relationship. The completion of relations is necessary so that the need that you satisfied in them can be satisfied with any others.

It happens that relations end in real life, but do not end in the psyche, and then some part of life is paused. To complete this friendship, conduct an audit of what it was for you.

For example, describe how she was dear to you, how you felt in her, what did you feel when it ended. This work will help to give the point of what happened to you and turn it into an event of your biography.

It seems that along with the relationship is the opportunity to experience something valuable. But Freud said that we find in the world only what we already have inside. This means that you can find what is valuable to you and in another friendship.